I spent the better part of 17 years trying to find the 'right feelings' to write this sci-fi philosophical/spiritual novel. I wanted not just to be enlightened, but to write enlightened. And so the story stopped being about anything but these feelings, and that's so effing stupid.
When writing and reading, and living in general, freedom is about experiencing more, not a limited scope of things, it's about feeling the breadth and beauty of life.
So the solution is just to jump into the story, and let the feelings flow, let the story tell itself in that free flow.