Tuesday, January 14, 2020

WOW life (relationship grows stronger)

So in the last month I released an album. To little fanfare. I don't even have the money to make up copies so I can make money off a show. I shared with a few choice people, and those who listened mostly unanimously dig it and I do too. I'm blowing out my ear-drums listening right now.

So the topic of SuppleStar came up in a big way in the relationship with Mizz Cardona Oh boy yeah....I mean, Cardona and I are still together we may have grown stronger for it but it wasn't easy for either of us and most especially for her Yeah yeah she saw how much I love SuppleStar. My guy friends never see that, but women I'm with do that's part of why I was so single for so long that's a lot of it, actually I didn't even want a relationship because I had thought it would be dishonest I don't think that anymore and Cardona has helped me get over her in lots of ways Just move on from SuppleStar well, I finally was able to explain what SuppleStar was for me I think its an ideal She saw me in the height of my glory, and I saw her in the height of hers, and it was the same glory, and she was honest and brave enough to look me in the eye and we both liked it and I blushed there were other epiphanies about the whole thing tonight Oh the brownies Cardona made I had had some, I've had more since but I got to what the bad trips were all about Nice dude it was guilt over all the shitty things I've done to SuppleStar So I sent SuppleStar the RIGHT apology finally and it released it doesn't undo anything and it's not demanding in any way, it was just really cool hum I likes when you called SuppleStar a bitch Lol she is, but she's also a saint "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a blank I'm a mother, i'm a sinner I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed" that was some big 90's song Yeah Terrible song asking RastaChick for guidance lol yeah I got into why I've been stuck in my writings like I accessed that Chat Conversation End Type a message...

That's conversation # 1 with Torn. Here's the conversation I then had with RastaChick

hey, i could use a woman's wisdom



About what, I may or may not know lol


fair enough. Yeah, so the topic of my ex that I was in grief over losing came up with Mizz Cardona in a big way tonight, and it was tough for both of us


we're still together thank God



That is good, what happened. I thought she had known?


I mean, she SAW how much I light up when I think about and cherish and love SuppleStar or at least the thought of her


and it hurt her heart


I like...don't know how to talk about it without hurting her now


but it's part of my truth, it's something deep and important to me which I honor and then it blesses my whole life and everyone around


and it's a part of me



That is a hard one, honestly tAlking about it around her is probably not a good thing. I know it's important to you but as you said it hurts her heart and that's not a good thing. It can still be a important part of you but I do think either keep it more private from her or the true thing is to move on from that love completely because you have a women who loves you right now in your arms and it's important to focus and appreciate that love right now


I can't move on because I have. But this is an important part of me


tbh I'm pretty sure SuppleStar's not a lover but just a guru


at least for me


when they told me that SuppleStar was delusional mental illness, i lost the ability to speak for a year



When you truly have moved on SuppleStar won't be as big of a part or as important to you which is why I wonder if maybe you have told your self that but it is still not completely dealt with. I don't not dwell or brighten up when talking about people I have loved that way in the past. I still appreciate their important roles in my life but I am not still in love with them


well yeah I'm still in love with SuppleStar and nothing will ever change that


it's been a deacde


decade


I don't look at pictures of her


I don't have conversations with her



That is where that will be a problem for your gf right now. You sharing your heart with someone else


I just remember her because then I remember my best self and that blesses me



I know but you still love her


Like as if she was still a part of your life


And that's why it hurts desire


life sucks more when she sin't


isn't


nobody can fully replace her


at least nobody has



She wants all of your heaet


That may be a problem


well, that's why i suggested something


and we shall see what happens with it



You wanted a women's advice, that is my advice lol


well, so my idea


is to do acid


with her


with Cardona


and fully see her soul in its glory and her in mine



It may help lol


Only for you to tell haha


right lol


cool


good talk


i have another idea



Lol what's that.


well what I really miss is the art of romance


SuppleStar was cunning and sly with that


and very very talented


well, maybe I can give Mizz Cardona and myself some homework in that topic


;)



Haha very true!



~~~~


Anyway, Mizz Cardona and I were sick for two weeks and she had some seasonal mood stuff going on and we had guests for too long and she has hardly left the place in weeks but things are improving and going to continue.

So that's all for now. Cheers